Katrina is a genius!

Katrina: "I made a 100 on my neuroscience test."

Stephen: "Amazing. I found a $100 bill in the middle of the road while biking. Also amazing."

Katrina: "Quit outdoing me!"

Stephen: "It's apples to oranges, babe :-) Congrats on being a GENIUS at NEUROSCIENCE in GRADUATE SCHOOL. I'm just a dumbfuck with two eyes who spotted money on the street before someone else did."

Success

It's been a while since we have posted, but it's because we've both been working really hard to reach our dreams.

No, seriously.

In the romance department, Stephen just told me that he wishes he also had "an adorable better half."

Katrina:  You saying she's better than me?

Stephen: That's just an idiomatic expression. ;)  We all know God has made of one blood all peoples of the earth.

This is funny because:

This is the motto of our alma mater.  It's from the Bible, Acts 17:26.  And it is shoved down every student's throat until they can recite it at will. It is also printed on this really ugly fountain by our campus cafeteria.

Katrina: This made me laugh. I love you. And all people of the earth.

Stephen: I love you too.  Let's have amazing careers and then go be graduation speakers at B. College.*

FUTURE COMMENCEMENT SPEAKERS

8/2011

I think I'll start my speech talking about the importance of exfoliating, followed by the impact one person's altruistic lifestyle can truly make on the world, remind the graduates and their families to recycle, then close with the best way to make biscuits from scratch, but also remind them once again to exfoliate.

Love,
Kat

*I don't want to write the full name of our college and have people access our blog when they google it. Because that is terrifying.

Guest Blogger

Performance anxiety happens all the time, except in the bedroom. That's what she said. In the walls of our new bedroom resides House Gnome(s).  I am not sure how many. Maybe one or maybe a colony; maybe it was date night.  I don't know.  The House Gnomes have messenger birds.  That is how they communicate with the House Gnomes of other houses (since they are not allowed to leave their house due to regulatory standards).  Currently, they do not have names as I am unsure of how many there are and of their gender, but I will be sure to update you when that information is available.  One thing is for certain, they like to make noise, eat (hopefully bugs) and dance to ABBA. (I made that last bit up, but if you ask me it makes them way more likeable.)  All in all, Charleston has so far been a great experience- House Gnomes and free shots at the bar. The other stuff, well that's for another day.

Dear darling facebook husband....

Remember that time you wore diamond earrings? 

They reflected light onto your face like lasers!

circa 2005

I don't miss them.

circa 2009

"The only thing in life that stays is change..."

As in our hair.

EX MAS

"Merry Christmas, bitch!"

Kat hates Christmas.  Stephen loves it. This nauseates Kat.

For a happy medium, Stephen visited Asheville over the holiday

and brought lots of wine.

Kat turned into a magical craft fairy, pulling out loads of glitter and gold.

See that thing on the couch with a chord?
It's an embossing tool.

It makes ink shiny.

And so it was...
Kat helped Stephen make personalized cards for his family.
Stephen drew pictures. Kat followed closely behind with embossing powder.
Stephen followed closely behind in refilling Kat's wine glass.
And then they joyfully heated the powder stuck to the ink with the special tool.

Kat's favorite card:

Conversation following the making of the above card:

Kat: Did you just make North America in the shape of the United States?
Stephen: Ummmmm....
Kat: You do realize there are other countries in North America?
Stephen: I-I-I didn't have a map to look at.
Kat: (pointing) Stephen there is a fucking globe in my living room!
Stephen: Wow! South America is real big!

The end.

Male Anatomy

KATRINA: I wish the guying checking me out across the library knew I was reading about the prostate right now. I think he'd stop trying to catch my eye.

STEPHEN: Maybe you should throw a prostate in his eye.

KATRINA: I'm not sure how to do that. Sounds messy.

STEPHEN: Sometimes in life you don't know you can do something until you actually try. Go for it!

KATRINA: Where do I get a prostate???

STEPHEN: Craigslist.

DAYS PASS...

KATRINA: Did you know the testes were the main sex organ? They are more important than the penis. Also. The name of the muscle that descends the testes is called the gubernaculum.

STEPHEN: Good. That reminds me. Did you throw that prostate in that guy's eye?

KATRINA: Craigslist was sold out.

DEAR CRAIGSLIST: GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER.

Are you mad?!

Once upon a time we completed a mad lib on a subway ride. It went something like this:

DRIVING IN THE CAR Last summer for a vacation, my dad drove us to (the) hell
A PLACE. Our car is a/an 3.5 BC
YEAR sedan with 13
NUMBER doors and a/an hairy and ballsac like
ADJECTIVE motor. We started out at sunrise. My mom and dad spent all night laughing
VERB ENDING IN 'ING' the house and frolicking
VERB ENDING IN 'ING' the car so we could get an early start. My dad took his golf camels
PLURAL NOUN and my mom took her tennis lesbian librarian
NOUN. I took my dog, Jesus
PERSON IN ROOM. The dog and I and my little wet
ADJECTIVE sister sat in the back. My dad was the driver, and as he came out of the driveway he ran into a/an apple
NOUN and dented a/an sexy rainboots
NOUN. My mom said, “Why don’t you pay attention and watch where you are giddy upping
VERB ENDING IN 'ING'?” After 364
NUMBER hours, we stopped to paint
VERB at a minestrone
NOUN. The minestrone
SAME NOUN was horrible, and this got my dad skipping
VERB ENDING IN 'ING' again. After driving loopily
ADVERB in this manner for two days, we finally arrived here and have been having a really drunkenly
ADJECTIVE time.