Katmas

It happened again.  

Stephen traveled south for the holidays and managed to force Katrina to celebrate.

This time he insisted that she simply stop by his family's house 

on the evening of the birth of the Lord and Savior.

It would be after nightfall, so what could it hurt? 

Nothing festive happens Christmas evening, right???

  Wrong. 

He failed to mention that AT THE EXACT SAME TIME she would walk through the door,

his flock of siblings would also arrive from across the country to

eat Christmas dinner,

open stockings,

pass out presents,

and play with the kids.

Who waits until 8p.m. to celebrate Christmas?!!?

This guy. 

 Stephen made drinks in the family's traditional holiday stemware.

Thank sweet baby Jesus for gin.

 

Then they helped his sisters stuff stockings...

He put this pin in his own stocking and acted excited a few minutes later when he found it there.

 It was decided that gifts under the tree would be opened after dinner.

But Big Gay Uncle Stephen couldn't wait for his niece to open her
very special gift from him

so he brought it to her at the dinner table:

 a feather boa.

shocking.

 Then dinner happened.

A very buttery, meaty, cheesy dinner.  

Katrina is vegan. 

So she sat in the living room eating dark chocolate, 

 hanging out with a doll that resembled her ex girlfriend

and/or Justin Bieber...

and also with this dog, to whom she was very allergic.

Stephen's mom didn't have any antihistamines in the house.

  Once everyone was full of animal flesh and bi-products 

and Katrina was struggling to breathe,

the real fun began...

PRESENTS!

Katrina was sitting nearest the tree, 

so by the miracle of the Christmas spirit,

she was gifted the honorable job of 

passing out presents

FOR 11 PEOPLE! 

YAY!!!

 By the end of the night, she was wedged between the recliner and the tree, 

as Stephen's nephew waited impatiently for her to tunnel through boxes

to find more with his name on them.

The moral of the story:

Marry into a Jewish family.